Firing Big Bird

So there's a big story about firing Big Bird that's a debate point, mostly centered around PBS funding. We shouldn't fire Big Bird, but lets face it. There's nothing more depressing than a 9 foot, 50 year old bird living in his mom's basement, on the dole. It's time for Big Bird to move out of mom's basement and get a job like every other schlep has to in this country.

So don't fire Big Bird, but for God's sake, get him out of mom's basement. It's time for Big Bird to stand on his own two talons.