Friday, June 3, 2011

The Washington dance

Arrayed against us, the contractors that do the actual work of the government, is an army of lazy overpaid employees that waste huge amounts of time. Yes, I'm talking about the Federal Government employee. Impossible to fire, and impossible to get them to do anything. I will translate a recent email I got from one:

"Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, we have a lot of emergencies at the Pentagon."

Translation: I'm a very important person at the Pentagon, you are a slimy contractor and not worth his lordship's valuable time.

The reality: The person in question does not work in the Pentagon, but a building that supports the Pentagon in the very important duties of buying toilet paper and sending out newsletters to people that are retired. It's the DOD equivalent of putting your crazy aunt Martha in the closet.

"We've reviewed your request for access and have a few questions for you:"

Translation: I have nothing better to do, and absolutely will not do my job unless my boss makes me do it. So I will ask a bunch of nonsensical questions so I can make up an excuse to not to do my job because you didn't answer my gibberish correctly.

The reality: This person has to continually prove to themselves that they are important by making others jump through bullshit hoops only to deny them the one thing that they have control over. Except they really don't have control because as soon as their boss finds out they are being obstinate he's going to make them do their job anyway.

So I'm sure that we will have to go to their boss and get the request done. All in a days work!

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