Tuesday, July 19, 2011

US Army AKO (Army Knowledge Online)

Another system I've been forced to use is AKO. AKO is an website that the Army spends 67 million a year on. For a website. That has horrible reliability and performance metrics. Another example of how the government does IT: crappy. For some reviews and funny AKO videos:

AKO Sucks

GIs, officials disagree on effectiveness of AKO

But I sure can't say it as eloquently as Associate289:

"...Did anyone see the ArmyTimes article about AKO? They basically said how the majority of Soldiers thought AKO was terrible. And they interviewed some General who's in charge of the whole thing and he gave his typical General/Politician bullshit answer about how it's a good system that works within it's resources and accomplishes the mission and BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. I really couldn't believe that someone, even someone in charge of AKO, would go on the record and defend it. It's unbelievable. The website is a complete piece of shit. And all these extra layers of security just add more frustration to the whole thing. Oh what's my favorite thing to do on vacation? You really want to know, AKO? It's flying across country and hiring underage prostitutes to choke me while I beat off with a broom stick up my ass. I don't know how you active duty assholes feel, but on the Guard side dealing with this fucking website is more painful than a highway rest stop abortion. All this admin shit is moving to AKO: NCOERs, clothing records, EPP packets, etc. And they all need CAC logins. Well great fucking idea asshole, there's like 5 fucking DEERs offices in the entire state. So let me stop what I'm doing on a drill weekend to bus everyone over to West Point so they can unfuck their CACs. Oh wait, they're not open on weekends. FUCK YOU

If there's anyone out there reading this that has any power (and I really hope not, because I'd be out of a fucking job after they read this post), let me say it loud and clear. AKO absolutely fucking sucks. It's a good idea gone terribly, terribly wrong. It's terrible to navigate. The search engine blows. The clutter on the home page is ridiculous. I don't give a shit what your budget is. Whatever you're given, it's too fucking much. Fire every web design idiot you have and take some of the money that's obviously not going to funding equipment for my company and go talk to someone at google or apple to unfuck this. Please."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is so, so beautifully accurate

Anonymous said...

God Bless you........ someone had to tell the fucking emperor he was running around asshole naked, and it sure isn't any of the brothers in law wanna be "hackers," pissing away that 67 million a year on mountain dew. If I see big IP log out one more mother fucking time or have to punch a goddamn pin in one more fucking time or go to attars , to cats, to jko to gko to ATN to DKO. and I don't know what fucking stain in the medcom let the good idea fairy come along with this pha part one only on a RCAS computer but I hope the shithead who made that fucking call gets aids and dies in a fucking fire.